Sometimes enough is enough

The blog is about to be back. Had to take care of some unforeseen business, now I have a little time to tell the true stories of your favorite strip club customer.

Last week my neck had an uncomfortable feeling in it. Not a pain, just discomfort. I get this from time to time and it all started a few years ago from a visit to a strip club in Detroit.

I went to meet a friend up at the club during the day time hours. It wasn’t that many customers in there, nor was there too many dancers. It was a good spot for us because my friend wanted to talk a little bit of business. While we are talking one very attractive dancer comes up to my friend and greets him like they are old pals, which they were. He cracks a few jokes with her and gets a BUNCH of dances at the table. The other dancers see him getting dances so they all run towards me, thinking I might buy a few dances. The fastest dancer out of the bunch to make it to me first had to be the most annoying of all dancers I’ve ever met. She was popping gum in my ear while she was talking, had terrible stripper conversation (she kept asking me how I was doing after I told her "fine" for the eleventh time), she had low self esteem (asking me what type of woman do I like and do I like her type? she looked like an ant with boobs.....a cute ant...but an ant none the less), last she was rubbing my neck in the worst way possible!

I don’t mind dancers touching me, or rubbing me for that matter, but please don’t touch my neck! She rubbed it like she had the 50lbs of torque pressure gorilla kung fu grip attached to her wrist. I tried to be nice at first by saying, "thanks for the neck rub but no thanks" but she then insisted to rub harder and ask, "how do you like it now?" I tell her "Please stop" she then goes even more nuts on my neck and is like, "I KNOW YOU LOVE THIS!!". I then said, "please, just fucking stop!", she went in for one more try stating, "Im sorry, I know what I was doing wrong, here it is" That’s when she was deep in my neck, motioning back and forth with her hard ass hands until I stood up and said, "Heres $10, please get the fuck away from me, fuck it heres $20 give that old man over there a dance!" She looked at me PISSED and got the bouncer. The bouncer was cool cause he had seen everything go down. I told the bouncer, "I paid her $20 to give that old guy over there a dance. She either gives him or someone BESIDES me a dance or give me my money back." I guess I said that part just to be a dick because my neck was so irritated at this point. Its hard to be nice when your necks fucked up. The bouncer looked at the dancer and said I was correct. She then proceeds to walk over to the old man, the old man sees her coming and stands up and says, (I kid you not, he says this)....he says, "Girl you fucked up my neck last week, I told your ass to never come by me again!" She then went to the back with my twenty. The old man looked at me and said, "If she messed up your neck that bad, why in the hell would you send her over to me to mess up mine?" He had a point. I bought him a beer and we all laughed about it at the table. She literally was a pain in the neck.

Moral to this story is.........in the word of the great poetic conglomerate known as the Wu Tang Clan "Protect ya neck!"