I went to go see a D.J. friend of mine the other night, he Deejays at a (you guessed it!) STRIP CLUB. I was in the club less than 5 minutes. While there, I see a table of "BALLERS" making it "RAIN" on a couple of girls. One guy takes the wrap off his hundred stack, throws it in the air and it rains money. The next guy takes the wrap off his stack and makes it rain too. The third guy FORGOT to take the wrap off of his stack and threw it at his girl and the stack of wrapped money busted her in the face! She must have been new to those stilettos cause she got off balance and wobbled down to the ground. The funniest part was after the stack busted her in the face she was still trying to catch it while she was falling. The second she hit the ground the first thing she did was jump on that stack like a fumbled football. The entire place was laughing even the stripper. I laughed at that shit all the way home.
Because this weeks story was so short (it just happened so I had to post it), I've provided a link to Adult Swims online game POLE DANCE HERO! I hope you enjoy as much as me. The beats on there are pretty nice. I think I hear a little MC Chris on one of them. Below is a youtube demo of one of the songs and a youtube demo of how to play, then the link to the game.
http://games.adultswim.com/pole-dance-hero-twitchy-online-game.html
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Kicking it in Connecticut
When I lived in Connecticut, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the strip club scene. I’d go every now and then but for some reason never became a “Fan”. What can I say, some strip club states are better than others.
When my friend Mark came to visit from Detroit he wanted to go to the Strip club. He loves them! So I reluctantly go. He’s married with kids, he’s on vacation to see me, as a friend I feel obligated to take him to the spots he wants to go to. I give him the choice of Upscale strip club or Dive, he chooses Upscale (don’t worry; I have enough stories about the dives).
We get to the club and sit at the stage. I hate sitting at the stage. Everyone can see what you are doing. There is too much attention on you when you sit at the stage. Sitting at the stage is for frat boys and old men. It was a slow night, so I didn’t mind plus Mark is 6’10” so no matter where he sits he gets attention. So to him it doesn’t matter.
At the stage we are tipping, having a good time. Then one stripper comes on stage. She’s Tall and slender with some big ol beautiful firm fake titties (sorry for the immature description, but it is what it is). She looked like an airbrushed playboy model. She had the expensive high quality thick clear heeled stilettos on too (strippers know what I’m talking about).
She walked on stage, looked at my friend, grabbed the pole, jumped up and “attempted” to do a 720 degree pole spin. I say “attempted” because at about the 610 degree mark her hands slip off the pole and she goes flying into the air. Then “BAM!” she accidentally kicks the living shit out of Mark in the face with her high quality strong built clear stiletto heel! It looked like some shit out of a chuck Norris movie. My friend falls to the ground with blood gushing from his face! The stripper is okay and apologizing almost in tears (faking I think). ME, Im LOLOLOLOLOLOL while asking if he is okay. Im laughing with concern while saying, “He’s cut Mick!”.
Mark’s like, “Im okay everyone”, the barmaid and myself are like, “NO YOU NOT! Sheeiiit!”, He has blood on his face, I have blood in my drink and the dancer has blood on her shoe (and no its not from that time of the month either). The manager and owner come over with paper towels, alcohol, bandage wrap, big ass band aids and vodka (yes, vodka). My friend was okay, he just got kicked above the eye, it was a very little gash but for some reason that little gash was bleeding pretty tough. He put the big ass band aid and wrap on it, he looked like a dork but he was okay and that’s what mattered.
The owner felt bad and said everything was on him for the rest of the night. When he said EVERYTHING, he meant EVERYTHING. I know he thought we would pick free lapdances or something silly like that, but uh uh, we both pointed at the Johnny Walker Blue Label at the top of the shelf. The owner said, “Ef it!” Then Mark, the owner and myself indulged in some very fine scotch…….along with a few of the beautiful ladies.
At the beginning of the night I hated CT strip clubs…..at the end, because my friend got molly whopped in the face by a strippers clear heeled stiletto, that club has become one of my favorites. VIP access kicks ass!
Take care and take heed
When my friend Mark came to visit from Detroit he wanted to go to the Strip club. He loves them! So I reluctantly go. He’s married with kids, he’s on vacation to see me, as a friend I feel obligated to take him to the spots he wants to go to. I give him the choice of Upscale strip club or Dive, he chooses Upscale (don’t worry; I have enough stories about the dives).
We get to the club and sit at the stage. I hate sitting at the stage. Everyone can see what you are doing. There is too much attention on you when you sit at the stage. Sitting at the stage is for frat boys and old men. It was a slow night, so I didn’t mind plus Mark is 6’10” so no matter where he sits he gets attention. So to him it doesn’t matter.
At the stage we are tipping, having a good time. Then one stripper comes on stage. She’s Tall and slender with some big ol beautiful firm fake titties (sorry for the immature description, but it is what it is). She looked like an airbrushed playboy model. She had the expensive high quality thick clear heeled stilettos on too (strippers know what I’m talking about).
She walked on stage, looked at my friend, grabbed the pole, jumped up and “attempted” to do a 720 degree pole spin. I say “attempted” because at about the 610 degree mark her hands slip off the pole and she goes flying into the air. Then “BAM!” she accidentally kicks the living shit out of Mark in the face with her high quality strong built clear stiletto heel! It looked like some shit out of a chuck Norris movie. My friend falls to the ground with blood gushing from his face! The stripper is okay and apologizing almost in tears (faking I think). ME, Im LOLOLOLOLOLOL while asking if he is okay. Im laughing with concern while saying, “He’s cut Mick!”.
Mark’s like, “Im okay everyone”, the barmaid and myself are like, “NO YOU NOT! Sheeiiit!”, He has blood on his face, I have blood in my drink and the dancer has blood on her shoe (and no its not from that time of the month either). The manager and owner come over with paper towels, alcohol, bandage wrap, big ass band aids and vodka (yes, vodka). My friend was okay, he just got kicked above the eye, it was a very little gash but for some reason that little gash was bleeding pretty tough. He put the big ass band aid and wrap on it, he looked like a dork but he was okay and that’s what mattered.
The owner felt bad and said everything was on him for the rest of the night. When he said EVERYTHING, he meant EVERYTHING. I know he thought we would pick free lapdances or something silly like that, but uh uh, we both pointed at the Johnny Walker Blue Label at the top of the shelf. The owner said, “Ef it!” Then Mark, the owner and myself indulged in some very fine scotch…….along with a few of the beautiful ladies.
At the beginning of the night I hated CT strip clubs…..at the end, because my friend got molly whopped in the face by a strippers clear heeled stiletto, that club has become one of my favorites. VIP access kicks ass!
Take care and take heed
Thursday, January 14, 2010
N.C. Tar Heel
At times bachelor parties are just as great as strip clubs. Especially the ones that aren’t at strip clubs. Then again, sometimes they can be a bust and you wish you had just taken the bachelor to the strip club in the first place. This story is about one of the better bachelor parties I’ve been to. Not one that I threw, but one that I attended in North Carolina.
While on a trip to N.C. I ran into an old friend of mine who stated he was throwing a bachelor party. We’ll call my old friend, Mike. I told Mike I’d come because it looked like Mike was very excited about this function he put together. I mean, damn, Mike was more excited than the actual bachelor. That evening I get there, and Mike "did good". It was in a gigantic hotel suite with 3 different rooms. The dancers were all 8,9 and 10’s. Just all types of fine (which is hard to do for a bachelor party). Im talking perfect asses (of all sizes) and perfect titties (of all sizes) shaking and bouncing everywhere. Everyone was happy :0)
Then came time for “the show”. "The show" is when a dancer or couple dancers do a special presentation for just the bachelor. This show was different; it was just one girl doing the presentation. It was an athletically built voluptuous young lady doing the honors. If I remember, her name was Sandy.
To start the show, Sandy told the bachelor to take off his shoe. He took of his shoe. She then put a condom on his foot (yes, a condom). She then lubed the condom with about two packs of K-Y Jelly. Next she proceeded to put the lubed condom foot into her…uhhh..as Oprah and Gayle would say…her va jay jay (vagina, xbox, vertical smile, pussy, whatever). As she is very very slowly putting the toe part inside of her, the bachelor leans over to get a better look. When he leans, he falls off the chair. While falling off the chair he accidentally shoves his entire foot up her twat! You hear him say, “ohhh shit!” and you hear her yell, “UHGGUGHGUGHGUGHGUGGHG!”. She then pulls the foot out her pussy and runs to the back room holding her stomach as if she just got sucker punched in the gut.
Me being nosey ol’ me, I go to the back room to see if she is okay. She says in her N.C. accent voice, “Yeah, I’m cool, I just didn’t expect all that foot pushed up in me at one time.” She lets me know she feels okay and is disappointed she couldn’t finish her routine. I’m like, “what routine is that?” Then one of the strippers who was comforting her handed her four pool cue balls. She then inserted them inside her and shot each one out like the skee ball machine at chuckie cheese. I said, “DAMN! At least we know he didn’t break your pussy!”
When I left, I was happy to know the strippers pussy wasn’t busted, but I couldn’t help but wonder how the bachelors foot was doing. Needless to say Mike feels he’s thrown the best Bachelor party ever.......well that was until he came to the one I threw. Details to come. Lol.
Take heed and take care
While on a trip to N.C. I ran into an old friend of mine who stated he was throwing a bachelor party. We’ll call my old friend, Mike. I told Mike I’d come because it looked like Mike was very excited about this function he put together. I mean, damn, Mike was more excited than the actual bachelor. That evening I get there, and Mike "did good". It was in a gigantic hotel suite with 3 different rooms. The dancers were all 8,9 and 10’s. Just all types of fine (which is hard to do for a bachelor party). Im talking perfect asses (of all sizes) and perfect titties (of all sizes) shaking and bouncing everywhere. Everyone was happy :0)
Then came time for “the show”. "The show" is when a dancer or couple dancers do a special presentation for just the bachelor. This show was different; it was just one girl doing the presentation. It was an athletically built voluptuous young lady doing the honors. If I remember, her name was Sandy.
To start the show, Sandy told the bachelor to take off his shoe. He took of his shoe. She then put a condom on his foot (yes, a condom). She then lubed the condom with about two packs of K-Y Jelly. Next she proceeded to put the lubed condom foot into her…uhhh..as Oprah and Gayle would say…her va jay jay (vagina, xbox, vertical smile, pussy, whatever). As she is very very slowly putting the toe part inside of her, the bachelor leans over to get a better look. When he leans, he falls off the chair. While falling off the chair he accidentally shoves his entire foot up her twat! You hear him say, “ohhh shit!” and you hear her yell, “UHGGUGHGUGHGUGHGUGGHG!”. She then pulls the foot out her pussy and runs to the back room holding her stomach as if she just got sucker punched in the gut.
Me being nosey ol’ me, I go to the back room to see if she is okay. She says in her N.C. accent voice, “Yeah, I’m cool, I just didn’t expect all that foot pushed up in me at one time.” She lets me know she feels okay and is disappointed she couldn’t finish her routine. I’m like, “what routine is that?” Then one of the strippers who was comforting her handed her four pool cue balls. She then inserted them inside her and shot each one out like the skee ball machine at chuckie cheese. I said, “DAMN! At least we know he didn’t break your pussy!”
When I left, I was happy to know the strippers pussy wasn’t busted, but I couldn’t help but wonder how the bachelors foot was doing. Needless to say Mike feels he’s thrown the best Bachelor party ever.......well that was until he came to the one I threw. Details to come. Lol.
Take heed and take care
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