The Walk of Shame

The walk of shame unfortunately happens in strip clubs everyday across America. This is where the customer gets too excited during a lapdance and bust (cums, releases, jacks, jizzes) all over himself, leaving a wet residue stain on his pants, which is easily noticeable by the other customers. Yes, sounds gross or nasty, but the unfortunate part is when the customer has to walk from point A to point B in the club with the stain of shame exposed to everyone. You better believe, it’s noticeable and very laughable. This post is dedicated to you quick draw Mcgraw shooters! Ive always wondered what the dancers thought of this. Here are a few types of people who handle this dilemma differently.

1. The Proud Buster aka Mr. Gotel
He feels as though he has gotten his monies worth when he bust. He proudly displays the stain as if he has gotten over on the club. Then Go tells everyone he knows Like, “don’t tell anyone but I busted” or “look at me, Im satisfied and can go home now!”

2. The Lean with it Rock with it
This customer leans over when he walks after the bust. He leans in order to have his untucked shirt cover the stain. Usually you’ll look at him and think he has a back problem, until you realize he has jiz juice on his pants

3. The Pocketer
This person puts their hands in their pockets while they walk hoping to scrunch the stain out of existence. The problem is, you look like an 8 year old kid trying to hold his piss in, plus it just doesn’t work. You end up looking like rainman with a stain man.

4. The Cover up
This guy buys a drink and carries it in front of the stain for the rest of the night. Good in theory, but in reality NOBODY CARRIES THEIR DRINK THAT LOW!

5. The Spiller
The spiller has guts! He buys a drink and purposely spills it on himself on the stained part of his pants (pretending to be an accident). It does the trick in some clubs, but if they have the black light, you can still tell. Either way, I think the dancers know what you’re doing.

6. The leaver
This guy, damn near runs out the club like it was on fire after he bust. He hides behind chairs, tables and bar stools until he makes it to the exit. Running out of there like OJ in an airport, or George Castanza in an apt fire.

I don’t know the best way to handle it, but that’s just some of the ways I’ve seen others handle it. So if you are the “sensitive” type, you might want to unload before you come to the club. Take care and take heed.

sneeks